Anger Management
by Voxsodding
Summary: [Series: Platform Hero.] Platform Hero cannot control his rage. But, at the very least, he's that much closer to a level-up.


Anger Management.

Series: Platform Hero.

It was a lovely, glorious day. The birds were chirping, the bees were buzzing; all was joyful and good. Until…

"Fuck you, you stupid goddamn flower!" The large, single-coloured shoes of Platform Hero came down on top of a white-and-yellow daisy. The bumblebee that had been nesting on the flower had managed to escape the first onslaught, but his weak wings could not fly his fat body fast enough to escape the secondary attack. The so-called hero's hand smashed his striped body onto the ground, and then dragged along the grass, smearing his remains.

"Ha, ha!" The blue boy giggled madly. His companion, known only as the Green Dinosaur, raised a thin, poorly animated eyebrow.

"Has anyone told you," the dinosaur remarked, his voice high and nasal, "that you need some serious help?"

Platform Hero peered over the brim of his cap. "Help? What for?"

MEANWHILE…

The Princess's fingers were numb from the work, but it was finally completed. It was a note to Platform Hero with the words "PH-HELP-CASTLE" written on it with tiny black letters, folded up to a tiny size, secured with a piece of masking tape, which for some reason had been sitting on the balcony of the tower where Dark Dragon (the evil-type) kept her hostage. It was smaller than her pinkie-fingernail. The pink girl smiled, content.

"Come here, Mister Birdie," she called in her deep, masculine voice. "Come on… I won't hurt you!" At last, a small yellow bird approached. "I'm gonna tape this note on you… make sure Platform Hero sees it, okay?"

The bird chirped merrily, acknowledging he understood. The Princess taped the note onto the bird's back, and the little animal took flight, headed out to find Platform Hero.

"What was that?" a not-so menacing voice called out from behind the Princess. She need not turn; the vague red glow that illuminated the tower and the nasal tone let her know that Dark Dragon himself had entered the scene.

"Nothing. Nothing at all." She whistled, hoping he would believe her innocence.

"Nu-uh! You are _so_ doing something! I just saw that bird take off with masking tape all over it!"

"No you didn't."

"Stupid… don't you remember last time you tried to use a bird to deliver a message to that idiot, Platform Hero?"

"No. I don't remember that at all."

"It blew up."

"No it didn't."

Dark Dragon let out a high-pitched Welsh whine. "God… why did I kidnap you in the first place? Why would I want to bring Platform Hero here when I could just go to him? Get the drop on him, you know?"

The Princess blinked, her eyes glazed over, a hazy grey.

"Shit. Why I even bother…" Dark Dragon turned away and headed back into the darkness…

BACK TO PLATFORM HERO.

The Green Dinosaur was attempting to explain to Platform Hero the concept of controlling his rage.

"Whenever you feel mad, just ball up all the bad feelings inside, and let them out upon some unsuspecting villager or something. Don't just go around, stomping stuff."

Platform Hero nodded, slowly. "So what you're saying is… whenever I feel mad, let it build up inside until I can't take it anymore?"

The Green Dinosaur nodded. "That's right!"

At that moment, the small yellow bird (covered in masking tape) flew down and perched in a tree branch near the two travelers. Realizing that he had found Platform Hero, he chirped cheerily.

Big mistake. The blue protagonist grabbed up a large fallen branch and swung madly at the bird. The small creature was completely unprepared for the blow, and was hit full force by the branch, shattering many of its tiny, hollow bones. It fell limp to the ground, where it was bludgeoned with the large twig until there was little left other than blood and feathers.

"HA, HA! EAT THAT, YOU PIECE OF GODDAMN SHIT!"

"Dude!" The Green Dinosaur yelled. "Weren't you listening? What about holding in your rage?"

"I did. That goddamn bird was settled near me for 3.26 seconds, and that was all I could take!"

The Green Dinosaur backed away. "You… you're insane…"

Platform Hero wiped off the branch. Above him, a large screen appeared.

YELLOW BIRD DEFEATED!

YOU GAINED 22 EXPERIENCE!

YOU ACQUIRED "PIECE OF WOOD!"

Platform Hero chuckled merrily. "Sweet. I'm almost to level three, now!"

The Green Dinosaur gaped, and then slowly shook his head. "Loony…"


End file.
